man's best friend for lonely periods of time...“After four and a half years, the fairy tale finally came to an end,” lamented The PBF to me the other day. Looking at him puzzled, I was trying to piece together this statement.
“What happened?” trying to hide my puzzled face (as I know what it meant when he said this).
“As of today, I’m officially single and available. Welcome to the world of mindless sex and sauna visits,” he added.
Shocked as I was to hear this, I enquired what happened?
“Long story, I told him that I can never forgive him for what he did to me; after 5 times, even a Monk will lose patience” he retorted.
From here, I guess this has to be infidelity. I began to reason out by saying, “Four years is not a short time. Remember those times you guys were separated for a year? How much faith you had of him and how much of him towards you! Also, after tolerating for all these years, weren’t there some sort of understanding or agreement that this unfaithfulness business should be avoided at all costs?”
“It hurts too much to go on and I really do not like what I have gone through this. Look, he actually cheated on me for several times now, and all these times, I have not bat an eyelid until just recently” he began to quiver in his answer.
“How did you find out?” I inquired.
The PBF looked away. I know that from his expression, he didn’t want to answer my question. He looked forlorn and just wanted to skip it but he owed me this last piece of information. I wanted to know, he wanted to tell but he was not in that position to move from it. However, seconds later, he managed to pluck up his courage. Swallowing whatever that was in him, he began to tell me softly.
“Actually, that day, I happened to logged into his very personal diary and in it, to my horror, I found out about his tryst behind my back. All this time, he was fucking lying to me and using me to his advantage. He really stabbed my heart and now, it hurts and I do not want to give him anymore chances”.
I looked at The PBF and hugged him. No amount of words or consolation will be able to heal a heart that is betrayed. What one feels is always hurt and revengeful after such an incident. So, at that few seconds, we decided not to engage into any conversation but rather instead delve on what he would be doing in the coming months.
Love is a funny thing. It can work very well for those who truly believe in them or it will just backfire. There are statistics that show infidelity is one common subject that puts pressure on most couples and at the same time, its also one of the better known weapons for destruction in a happy relationship. Or the emergence of third parties that come in between? I’m beginning to be very skeptical about relationships and about people telling me that they want eternal love. How on earth can one attain eternity when our mortal bodies do not live pass a certain age? Surely, we will one day die of diseases or sickness or even accidents? Or if some are lucky, live way pass to their good old age?
I know that there are relationships out there, which work out, and I congratulate them, but how many can we sustain it, is another question. I’m not being negative on this aspect but experiencing and talking to so many people, I began to wonder if people are what or who they say they are. From the most intimate relationships that have lasted for years, I’ve also found out that there are instances where they have adopted the open relationship type. Don’t ask and don’t tell, is their motto, and seems to work out well for some. But, very rarely, do you find a couple that really attest to the fact that their love life is still blossoming well and growing stronger each day. I guess that is all in fictional books, and as most of us like to read, we tend to believe that is the reality in life. How sad and untrue is that statement!
In life, we face all kinds of difficulties and temptations, and if given a chance, we notice that at most we will be able to sustain this for a short period but to prolong it, it will take a lot of endurance. Statistics have also shown that the majority of people lose interest in their couples in the 3rd year of marriage, be it in gay or heterosexuals. So, statistics have shown their results, how many of us can consider ourselves part of the percentage that have really lived through it all? I’m no love guru but I know that for a relationship to work out, it will amount to a lot of endurance and also trust. One of the key points in it is also the ability to really understand and tolerate one another's shortcomings.
“What happened?” trying to hide my puzzled face (as I know what it meant when he said this).
“As of today, I’m officially single and available. Welcome to the world of mindless sex and sauna visits,” he added.
Shocked as I was to hear this, I enquired what happened?
“Long story, I told him that I can never forgive him for what he did to me; after 5 times, even a Monk will lose patience” he retorted.
From here, I guess this has to be infidelity. I began to reason out by saying, “Four years is not a short time. Remember those times you guys were separated for a year? How much faith you had of him and how much of him towards you! Also, after tolerating for all these years, weren’t there some sort of understanding or agreement that this unfaithfulness business should be avoided at all costs?”
“It hurts too much to go on and I really do not like what I have gone through this. Look, he actually cheated on me for several times now, and all these times, I have not bat an eyelid until just recently” he began to quiver in his answer.
“How did you find out?” I inquired.
The PBF looked away. I know that from his expression, he didn’t want to answer my question. He looked forlorn and just wanted to skip it but he owed me this last piece of information. I wanted to know, he wanted to tell but he was not in that position to move from it. However, seconds later, he managed to pluck up his courage. Swallowing whatever that was in him, he began to tell me softly.
“Actually, that day, I happened to logged into his very personal diary and in it, to my horror, I found out about his tryst behind my back. All this time, he was fucking lying to me and using me to his advantage. He really stabbed my heart and now, it hurts and I do not want to give him anymore chances”.
I looked at The PBF and hugged him. No amount of words or consolation will be able to heal a heart that is betrayed. What one feels is always hurt and revengeful after such an incident. So, at that few seconds, we decided not to engage into any conversation but rather instead delve on what he would be doing in the coming months.
Love is a funny thing. It can work very well for those who truly believe in them or it will just backfire. There are statistics that show infidelity is one common subject that puts pressure on most couples and at the same time, its also one of the better known weapons for destruction in a happy relationship. Or the emergence of third parties that come in between? I’m beginning to be very skeptical about relationships and about people telling me that they want eternal love. How on earth can one attain eternity when our mortal bodies do not live pass a certain age? Surely, we will one day die of diseases or sickness or even accidents? Or if some are lucky, live way pass to their good old age?
I know that there are relationships out there, which work out, and I congratulate them, but how many can we sustain it, is another question. I’m not being negative on this aspect but experiencing and talking to so many people, I began to wonder if people are what or who they say they are. From the most intimate relationships that have lasted for years, I’ve also found out that there are instances where they have adopted the open relationship type. Don’t ask and don’t tell, is their motto, and seems to work out well for some. But, very rarely, do you find a couple that really attest to the fact that their love life is still blossoming well and growing stronger each day. I guess that is all in fictional books, and as most of us like to read, we tend to believe that is the reality in life. How sad and untrue is that statement!
In life, we face all kinds of difficulties and temptations, and if given a chance, we notice that at most we will be able to sustain this for a short period but to prolong it, it will take a lot of endurance. Statistics have also shown that the majority of people lose interest in their couples in the 3rd year of marriage, be it in gay or heterosexuals. So, statistics have shown their results, how many of us can consider ourselves part of the percentage that have really lived through it all? I’m no love guru but I know that for a relationship to work out, it will amount to a lot of endurance and also trust. One of the key points in it is also the ability to really understand and tolerate one another's shortcomings.
Some also say, absence makes the heart yearn for each other...true, and to add to it, too much of a good thing is also bad for you. Balance comes into mind here. What do you think?
6 comments:
Haih... lazy to think about these questions! Come what may...
Come what may indeed and hope for the best.
If it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't.
I always believe it takes two to tango. It's not how much you trust your partner but it takes two to be honest, to be loyal to each other and to work out things.
If not, why bother being together in the first place?
Honesty I must say..
and then again...majority of the people lose interest in their couples in the 3rd year of marriage is because of the decline of Phenylethylanine (PEA) hormone...
not to blame on that but as I said..honesty*
Sure there are doubts in every relationships but that doesn't mean that it comes true for all. Have faith.
Oh... how sad. Sorry to hear that. Mine broke off just 3 months ago. Been together for almost 6 months liao.
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