THE ONE WITH THE SPINSTER

how do i solve a problem like S..P..I..N..S..? (to the tune of how do i solve a problem like Maria)

I really do not know how to handle this particular colleague of mine. I have tried all kind of ways to handle her, encourage her and at the same time, give her my support but to no avail. You must be wondering who am I referring to no?

When we had a restructuring in our department some time ago, there were to be appointed 3 Team Leaders (TL) who will lead 3 different teams. Handling different expertise and also various portfolios, it was decided that the TL will have staff (previously all colleagues, all same level) under them to supervise. So, the company created 3 senior posts to overlook the other staffs. I was honored to be appointed as a TL and was given this other area which I was totally not familiar with. But, I took it into stride.

In my area, there are 5 other staff under me and amongst them, was the other lady who is very much older than me. The rest of them are younger than I am, so I guess I have the opportunity to have them look up to me as a TL and given my post, they respect me out of it. The senior lady, whom I shall call, SPINS (SPinster In Need of Sex) has from day one shown me non of the above. SPINS reluctantly had to follow rules set by the Management and the kind of respect given to me was actually forced, more likely fake too! I never really minded that, because to me, I only treated her as a colleague and nothing more. And, being the docile me (yes it is hard to believe at times), I allow her at times to do whatever she wants. I never regulated her nor have I ever wanted to show my authority on her, in fact, I always give her face but being consensual at all times.

So, SPINS act as she is in her own little world. The fact that she is in her mid-40s and yet to be married, always get the butt of jokes from the other staff. In reality, SPINS does throw a tantrum at times like smashing down the phone, talks rudely to the other staffs from the other departments and so on. But, on the plus side, she does possess a lovely heart, whereby whenever she goes anywhere for a trip, everyone in the department will get a little trinket or souvenir from her. However, the downside has weight down most of the time, and this has left her to be a source of mouth piece even to the Management level.

Imagine, if Management cannot handle her, they let her to me hoping that I might weave some magic on her? Excuse me, I'm gay...how do I handle such a situation? The most I can be feisty in my approach or even bitchy...but to pally with her on the tantrums and character, I think, Management has too much great faith in me! Alas, a job has to be done, and being a professional as I am, I will do my best to perhaps change her? Even if not the ambitious 100% goal I have set, at least some small percentage might suffice in this instance? (I wholeheartdly set my heart and mind to try to resolve this problematic lady)

Another problem that SPINS faces is that her salary level has been capped! Yes, capped meaning to say that if she does not get a promotion soon, or the Management decides to let her handle some other posts, she will be forever at the level of salary until the day she reaches retires...isn't that sad? That is the reality in the Corporate world.

When I heard that she was having her salary capped, even if she has thrown shit on me or even not given me the enough respect that I would be honored to receive from her, I still have a heart for her to ensure that she might get some sort of reprieve. I spoke to Management behind her back and asked them if there is anything that she might be given, but Management told me bluntly that SPINS is not performing the level expected of a person to be promoted or given additional task. In fact, Management told me that they were very disappointed whenever SPINS was given some tasks to do, SPINS will throw it to someone junior or complain about it or even worse, do not show any initiative to change her perception of things. I mean, yes the situation is bleak, but you do not drag yourself into that level. You will have to survive and grow new ideas to tackle this setback.

In a matter of fact, I have been honest with her. I told her and advice her what she should do. I even told her that she need to improve on many levels and having dissected her and analysing her problem, the main obstacle is her behavior and character. If these two can be changed over night, I have no doubt she can soar even higher than me. SPINS is a smart lady but I find that all that is put to waste when no effort of her own inner self wants to exert that kind of change. Instead, she wastes her time on complaining and if she really does not like what she is doing, she should look for another job outside. Its not that she does not have the ability to find another one, but over the years, one has become too accustomed to the surroundings that one does not want to leave that safety net that they have built over the years.

I really feel sorry for her and at the same time, try to put myself into her shoes. The only solution is to perform and show one is able to do it, organize it and most important thing of all, work smart not hard....but to SPINS, this has all fallen to deaf ears! Or mayb all she needs is a good fuck? Anyone out there willing unclog the drains of a SPINSter?