SILENCE CAN BE DEADLY

Am I that Important?

I never really understand that I can be a the source of all gossips in the office when I do not even actively participate in them?

Actively, there is a person whom I will say as colleagues, we only interact when we need to, but otherwise during my own time, I would rather spend my time focus on either my work or even other avenues.

Life in the office is already tense and there are moments, I would really love to be alone, just so that I can recollect back my plans or strategies? At times, I will be really quiet but I do talk when I need to, so I don't want people to assume that I have shut them out.

However, there is this lady in the office, where I will christened her as "Always Nosing Around Lady" or ANAL for short. ANAL is the sort of lady who dresses up really well, fashionable according to her senses and always displays a very wealthy outlook. But, for a lady like her or more aptly, Auntie, she does have very bad habits like bringing her two big empty Tupperware to fill the mineral water from the pantry room, or the other time, I caught her taking the sponges that was used to pad the machines in boxes home for washing of cutlery or other UN-ethical methods of what you self-possessed as wealthy...

And if this not enough, one of her famous quotes is always to remind all around "my husband keeps on asking me to quit my job, as he is well off to take care of us, but I have passion for my job...etc etc" or " the managers keep on asking me to stay on because they want me to take care of the accounts" ... shameless statements, I would say.

I'm not envious of ANAL's success or even style, but let me just add in here is that I do not like it when ANAL begins to spread word to my close associates that I have been neglecting her or put it straight to the point, "Put her in the cold storage". (meaning shutting her off entirely).

I have never done that and believe will never do so, but what really irks me is that ANAL have the opportunity to come clean directly to me but instead takes a detour and instead asks my friends about me? This shows this person has no balls, oops, pardon the pun, but this person really does not have any!

ANAL had told me earlier, she is a person who is matured and also able to take things in the transparent way. Anything that might bother her, she will bring this up but up to this point, why does she have to actually go through another party to suss out information? Pity ANAL who is like those creatures who desperately needs to find out more but will create things just to get them...

But, looking at another angle, I think I'm not that unimportant as I thought I would be all this while. Yes, I may only command so much in the office but in terms of wanting to secure my loyalty or even patronage, there are elements out there in the office who would resort to these sort of actions. Just try to lay low for a week or so, be very quiet, talk only when you need to or even skip those daily lunches, and tongues will wag.

Seriously, either they are talking about your aloofness or maybe your arrogance, whatever it is, tongues will never stop for sure. Give it some thought, maybe you are IMPORTANT to them after all....

Gee, someone hand me a book on ART OF WAR by SunTzu?

SUFFERING WITH JOY

At times, when someone calls up or comes to me and complains what a horrible day they had or how they were manipulated in the office, I only can lend my ears to them. After listening, you would want to say something, but, have you ever thought of what to say or say the right things at the right time?

Many a times, I fall into a state of poignant reminders to be extremely careful with my choice of words to use. If you use the wrong word and the situation is different from what you normally would have thought of, it will not bring the desired results you want. So, I get terribly chaotic and stressful too because my mind has to race up and conjure up the words to use to placate the other party. Of course, I'm not the type who will only use one liners; try as I would like, I will stick to some form that will give the other party some relief upon hearing my words.

Then, there are times, I feel betrayed by my lack of database brain to function faster, resulting in the most awkward words coming out at the wrong time, and shit, this has happened many a times, at times, me caught unawares.

Having said that, I still believe in using the right method to listen, digest and then react to the situation. No point in having to rush into a comforting word or advice and having to regret later because it was the wrong choice of words.

So, today, I got a call from Flirty Whore,who complaint to me about the nonsencial bitches in his office and how tired FW is of the office situation at the moment. The only consolation I could give and truthfully would say to such a condition - resign and seek another job. Yes, if it has been so hurtful and yet going nowhere, resign, move on and perhaps other places will be able to tap and recognize your talents even more. But, if you choose to stay, then there is no point really in playing the melodramatic songs and then having to say "alas is me, poor me".

However, if a person chooses to stay because of certain conditions attached to it, then, all this person have to do is to really stick to their neck and just be patience until the day that condition has been satisfied and cashed in; submit in your resignation letter and on the day you are going to leave, tell off those bitches and give them a piece of your mind, or maybe two pieces.

In reality, we face so many problems that come with our jobs and also interaction with people. Countless of times, people are never happy of their current situation and will complain. Complain is good but if you do it too often and do not produce any solutions to over-coming it, then you will just be like the saying goes, "CASTING PEARLS BEFORE SWINES".

Of course having said that, I do emphatically understand the situation others are having and most of the time, I will count my blessings either good or bad, because it is also said "FOR WHEN I AM WEAK, THEN I AM STRONG"

Think about it...

"hang in there, it'll pass"...

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE

U mean I have to sell my soul too?

If you have ever been on the other side of the fence or maybe still is, you can complain and complain till the cows come back. These are what I would call as anti-establishment attitude.


It's so easy to be on the other side to criticize or pass comments on management. I have been there and have been known to voice out my frustrations against any policies that does not bring any favor to the working class (whom I consider myself as one). Its actually very easy to do so but what happens when you are no longer on the other side of the fence, and management now recognizes your deeds and invites you over to the other side, what would you do?


Of course accept it with a heart full of thanks, well, maybe see if the package to bring me over to the other side is worth it or not? Not all the times, the packages are good, but many a times, to entice these unsuspecting young foolhardy over, special packages are arranged. These packages will include perks like increment, increase of annual leave or anything good so that fresh meat is definitely brought over.


So, when you are over at that side of the fence, and you are officially the mouthpiece of the management, how can you go back to those days when you were so carefree? Now, when you open your mouth, you need to be very careful what you say out. Since you are the Management's mouth piece, its very hard to envision your days of complaint diarrhoea from the other side of the fence.

What management now dishes out to you, even if its not palatable, you have to say it tastes just heavenly and have to convince the other side of the fence to accept it. What a reversal of roles, really! And you very know by reading this, it bothers on hypocrisy's!

Really, what can we foolhardy have in our own strength achieve? We are beholden to the management for their generosity and their acceptance of us, that we since we are taking a pay from them, we have no choice but to follow them. Unless, one of us dare to speak out against the establishment and the management accepts our criticism before handing out termination letter, my good sense guess is everyone will just toe their line, nod their heads and live like robot like in the office.


Phew, what a world we live in? If the outside world is not already bad enough, why do we have to endure all of this in the corporate world as well? Money, money, the need to survive I guess...what say you guys?

SEEKING SOLACE

I'll always get a tad bit emotional when I see a funeral near my house or worse, when I have to attend one. Right now, there is one going on, not too far away from where I stay. Its like two blocks away and this family, I know them when I was growing up.

The person who passed away is the lady ( I think she was 90++ when she passed on) and I used to remember calling her, "Yong Cheh" (Yong = surname; cheh = for those who remained unmarried). These Ma Chehs (MC) used to come from mainland China, and they were very devoted to their duties, taking care of the households or the children of the family. Anyway, these MCs would take a vow of celibacy and they would be dressed up in their black & white samfoo, complete with their hair all bun up. I remember them as being very tenacious on what they were doing and they were very neat. Apart from that, they were also quite thick headed and at times, became persons who were not easily to be friends with.

However, as I was driving past this house one evening, I noticed two large lanterns hanging out of the house. It signalled that a death has taken place in that house, and true enough, it was Yong Cheh who had passed on. Suddenly, a rush of nostalgic memories began to flood my mind. I remember the times, Yong Cheh would come to my house to meet up my mom and neighbors. Most of the time, it always centered on a game of mahjong's during the afternoons when most housewives have already completed their housework and television was not the "in-thing" for them.

But, looking at the rate of funerals taking place at my area, I suddenly began to feel that one by one, things are being stripped from what I used to hold on to. Legacies have changed, characters replaced...its like a drama or movie. Things have started to move on very quickly.

I'm not sure what I'm actually saying here but I guess death brings a void, changes the familiarity that we so use to grasp on and one things for sure, life sure takes a dramatic twist by going on. We will certainly miss that special someone, and to this day, I still miss my dad.

He also had a way of making me feel that everything was safe and sound, things will operate normally on this routine and nothing will change. But, I was so wrong. For things did change, the familiar sound, or actions have now diminish, whats left is just memories. Its like, when I used to do a household chore, I will remember that, dad did this too, and it is a very poignant memory that shoots right through my thoughts.

Suddenly, I feel like something precious (which in essence, I never felt this way) is missing and I began to clamour for time to just move back, but, its not possible. Time moves on, and sadly, so do we.

Therefore, never underestimate the relationships or friendships we have out there, for life is very short and we will never know what tomorrow will bring. What today brings, treasure it and hold it dear at all times!

BE GRACIOUS

Have you ever come across people who give you a hard time either in work, school or office? They seem so unreasonable and at times, very difficult to comprehended? You say yes, they say no, you say its white, they say its black? Either way, they give you a hard time by changing things or not sticking to schedules agreed upon?

Then, suddenly, with a change of heart, you developed this desire to change them. Assuring yourself that perhaps these poor unfortunate souls might not know what they are doing is actually harming the people around them.

Armed with this surge of mission to change a person's behavior or character, you go along that path with much gusto. However, as you try to change them, you receive so much of resistance and that path which you thought to be at first filled with idealistic dreams, suddenly turns out to be a nightmare.

You feel exhausted, loses your temper easily and worse of it all, you have spiteful intentions that developed with it. Instead of now, showing compassion, you create ingenious ways to make that person's life miserable.

The thoughts that conjure up in the fertile mind is very interesting too. One can think of ways to probably scratch the ex's new car, maybe throw fresh termites into that new condo unit knowingly that the whole unit is wood based? Or, what about going to extreme of infecting the other half, who is now the ex, with HIV? (I have heard of such true cases)

But, in essence, people are born good, we have a choice to choose between what is good and bad. Conscience will always play a part in us to decide for us to choose wisely, but we as humans, are always engulfed by the flames of anger. We are not really stable until we realize that we did a boo boo by reacting to that anger. Only then, we regret and regress in our sorrows but that time, it might be too late? However, having said that, there are some still not repentant of their actions, and continue to justify their actions further on it.

I did come across such inflammatory actions before while I was still in my infancy stage. At times, I really wonder when I sit down and ponder of my actions of yesteryear, how evil can I be? Thankfully, I do not have to do this anymore.

Realising that anger or having spiteful feelings is just like a cancer in our body, why continue to prolong it? We should nip it in the bud before it really do anymore damages. After all, once we take it out of our system, we feel so light. And, trust me, once we take that out, be gracious about it. Go to the other party and just tell them off, " I FORGIVE YOU"

Forgive and forget...

Sensing that its a losing battle, at times, we should just allow that person to be what they want to be. After all, its a free country where we have a choice, to choose, not bounded by any rulling or religious decrees, because, after all, at the end of the day, its the individual who has to own up to his / her choices.

Forgiving someone else puts us in higher pedestal than the other ass hole that caused all the problems in the first place. We should not be too overly excited or worked out when people have inadvertently caused these problems for us, we can just move on, leave that poor soul wallowing in their own excrement's - after all, we do not want to go to that smelly level, now do we?

So, cheers for another week ahead, thanks for spending time to read my thoughts penned in here.

FEELING ALONE

We feel so Alone...

I'm writing this little message to those who often cry out and say they are lonely and that they do not have anyone out there for them. My answer to them..."You are not alone!"


There are so many people out there who are lonely, who have friends but do not have the significant other half to complete their life, but at times, we should ask, is this our doing or merely its a fact that we all want to be single but secretly want someone to be there when we do get lonely or bored?



Now, I'm just thinking aloud of this issue here and there is of course not right or wrong answers to what my mind is exploring and opening up now. Why in the first place, do people complain that they are lonely when there are many out there who can fill in that place? And, when they have actually have a special feeling for that someone, at the same time, they feel obligated to another party...but having said that, the other party to whom they have a special feeling, cannot reciprocate as to what the former can give.

So, these people will lament that they are lonely and nobody wants them to their close friends and hoping that by this action, these close friends, will be able to help them soothe out their emotional tears, which is only temporary. However, this kind of action only intends to heal it at the spur of the moment, but never as something permanent.

The only permanent way is to get hitched but if the person is adamantly not wanting to do so, there will always be that vicious cycle of pain. Then, the quarter strings of sad melancholy starts to quiver and its back to square one.

No, unless that person takes an initiative to mend their ways and resolve to move on from what they know is not going to happen, the sooner the better for them to get out of that vicious cycle. When that person is able to take the challenge to be with a new person, then only things will change. The old has gone, the new has come, so take joy that all the unfounded fears will soon dissipate.

I know some guys personally who are in that league. At times, I feel that I'm also part and parcel of it too, but you know, if we never know how to give up and move on; at the same time to walk that plank of faith into the unknown, we will never know the outcome to our life story. Ups and down, we are always face with indefinite obstacles, but after each obstacle, it makes us stronger and able bodies to take up more challenges that move along our way.

So, all the unfortunate lonely hearts out there (me inclusive), we are not alone, we just need to pluck up our courage and move on. What has been sentimental needs to be moved to our baggage compartment and labeled as excess baggage. Having said that, we will then move forward and leave those excess baggage for the local dumpster to take it off our burden, for it is said, "THE YOKE OF BURDEN WILL BE LIFTED FROM THEM"

SOAPY MEMORIES

Just when I thought that I had nothing much to write in here, I suddenly developed a sense of urgency to pen this down and of all places, this little inspiration had to come from the men's locker room.

Ok, I was in the gym again this evening, and as usual after my PT, I will head on to complete a 3 sets of action at the abs station. As I sauntered to the locker room, I picked up my towel, and headed to the shower stalls.

So, here I was walking slowly past the aisle and at the same time, being narcissus, admired a bit more of my developed body. However, at the corner of my eye, I caught this guy walking behind me. Nope, I was not admiring his body or anything but the little case he was carrying with him as he walked.

I was wondering what that plastic case was it as it was a translucent box, and in it, contained a bar of soap. Interestingly, I looked at it closely and yes, confirmed, it was a bar of soap, pinkish in color too. In my mind, was this thought, how queer and at the same time, old fashioned?


For me, translucent plastic soap boxes remind me when I was growing up and you would have this little boxes nicely placed at the the bathrooms or the sink where you will usually use it to either wash your hand or face. I guess, that little scene brought me back to where and when I was growing up; in an instance, nostalgic feelings begin to settle in.

My innocent years...

Those growing up years were so much fun and innocent. I remember so many good memories of it, well some sad, bad but overall, it was something I will not let go by because these form part of me as I move on. But, apart from that, do people still use bar of soaps when they bath? Isn't shower gel more convenient?

THE "UN" WORD

Am I Un-Glam?

Do you know friends who are constantly not updated about current affairs and are always backdated? Unfortunately, yes, amongst my motley crew of friends, I do have quite a number of them and amongst them, one who is always mentioned in my blog is SW.

SW is one of those unfortunate ones, always teased for being backdated and there were times, SW was also known as BDB (BACKDATED BITCH). We would be talking about things and suddenly; SW will bring up a subject that could be a few months old. The usual stares and disbelieve that we always give to SW was never kind, nor even courteous; it was more like “you deserve it”.

Most of the times, we will just have to remind poor ole SW of the consequences of bringing up issues that are backdated and many of the times; SW will insist that these are current.

Not wanting to argue further, we will just roll our eyes and gaze at poor SW and really at times wonder if SW is living in the present or the past tense.
But, I guess that is how SW operates, hence, many a times, we just accept that this is part and parcel of SW, no matter how SW is, we do our best to understand him.

So, you think we are cruel? No, on the contrary, SW is also the butt of jokes by his office colleagues. And, to think we have been kind enough to label SW BDB, his colleagues are more gruesome. He has been officially known as “UNGLAM” from the word unglamorous.

How this happen, well it all started innocently with the movie “JUST FOLLOW LAW” and one the colleagues mentioned to SW whether SW had watched the movie, and SW like a lamb led to be slaughtered, answered “No”.

(But, before that, SW did teach this colleague of his what and how to use the word “UNGLAM” and now, it’s been used to directly fire against him).

Not contended with just mentioning it, this bitchy colleague actually drives deeper its meaning upon SW, deeper even than the SMART tunnel which leaves our dear SW bruised even more…

MONEY BOYS

I'm for sale, any takers??

One boring Sunday afternoon, I was catching up with a friend of mine, now, lets call this person Flirty Whore (FW). So, FW was updating me about a certain mutual friend of ours and the dilemma this person was facing. Let's name this person Not So Bright (NSB).

NSB it seems met a certain not so young guy who we will named as Money Boy (MB). Now, NSB has been with MB for some time now, almost coming to a year. But, only recently according to FW, NSB suspects that MB is a really a MB. All this time, we already know the true nature of MB's character but only foolish NSB was blinded by love; that he could not see who MB was and how manipulative MB has been towards NSB.

NSB began lamenting to FW and actually asked FW to tell MB that the relationship's over. FW of course did not agree to this arrangement. If there is any break ups, the proper way was to tell to the person in the flesh or if it not, better to send a sms, since divorce sms is accepted by a certain faith.

NSB did not have the courage to counter MB and hence, kept on begging FW to do the dirty job for him. FW asked NSB why he did not see fit to continue with this relationship, and amongst the things he listed was as :-

1. No sense of direction even approaching the age of 30.

2. No ambition. (the only ambition MB has is to online after work)

3. Does not possess a driving license.

4. Does not pay for anything - NSB seems to be the sugar daddy in this relationship.

5. Not good at cooking although claims to be a world champion chef. (it tastes horrible)

6. Mahjong all the time.

7. Fridae & Axcest all the time - like MB has to clock in & out as though working there.

8. Speaks highly of himself, dominates the other half and shoots down NSB all the time.

Given the above, NSB has already had enough of this relationship and wants to end it but whether this will go through, it will be another story as this was brought up many times and many times, it was said but never done.

So, we guess that this time, its going to be a pinch of salt and not likely to happen at all.

But in reality, many relationships out there are like that. When one party is older and the other younger, it seems that the younger will rely mostly on the older to provide and instead of having it both ways, it seems lopsided.
This happens also in cases where one party can afford to fork out the dough, while the other half is a struggling blue collar worker or office admin. assistant, then it makes f****ing sense to subsidise.

My question here is how long do you think you want to do that? Yeah, all that lovely dovey and not into talking too much about money and sorts, well, I do not agree that it will have to continue like that forever. I'll always believe when the honey runs dry and the sour "kana" sets in, and the flames of passion becomes flames of hatred, all this nitty gritty stuff will come out. It will pour out like some hot lava after being suppressed for so long. Hence, I always believe that what is yours is yours, what is mine is mine, keep it that way, and I guess the relationship will blossom further!

TO LIPO OR NOT TO, THAT IS THE QUESTION!

One busy afternoon, Slutty Whore called me up in the office. As it was in the midst of busy afternoon, and here I was trying to shoot off some e-mails to get someone's arse being bruised and at the same time trying to understand the weather patterns of my immediate boss, I had to receive this call from SW.

Not wanting to be rude, I answered the call but only gave SW a mere 10 minutes duration, as I had a lot of things to settle, and the things that needed my attention and advice was mounting. As such, I answered the call like how I will usually do with courtesy (eyes rolling).

" I'm Fat!!!" cried out Slutty Whore.

In my mind, I was asking, you called me up just to respond to this statement or to acknowledge it or to lament with you?

I answered, "No you are not, don't be silly".

"But, I am, I'm getting fatter day by day" SW answered.

Not wanting to enggage on a debate, I changed the topic immediately, "So free? Nothing to do?"

SW answered " How do you get such a nice porpotional body?"

"You mean me? Nope, I don't have one, its still developing anyway" I replied.

"But you have" SW insisted.

I snapped back "Well for PT's that have cost me about $3K, it better have some development" I chuckled. "But, seriously, I'm just toned but not built yet".

SW snorted back at me "Well for that kind of money, I will just go for a liposuction, no need to work out so hard, just do a simple procedure and all my fats will go away!"

I pondered at that statement. Maybe there are some truth to it but then again, isn't liposuctions supposed to be dangerous? No risks attached? I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the thought of having a vaccum cleaner sucking out all those fats under my skin. What if its bloatched? What will happen to that skin? Shrunk issit?

As for my opinion on this subject, I still believe in the traditional way of toning myself, losing out weight but exercising. Why you may ask? Simply put it, I like the sweat my body oozles out as its kind of an achivement after pushing or carrying those weights.

Yes, its tough, but life was never meant to be created easy or equal and we need to work out to achieve our results unless you were so damn lucky to be born with a body fitted with all the things you need, but, nope, how many of us can attest to that? Besides, I'm addicted to endorphines, its makes me high and feel good, better than any other chemical out there!

Should I go for a liposuction??

SNAKEY ENCOUNTER OF THE WEIRD KIND

Dreams, dreams...ever had them and then you wake up wishing up your puny little mind what its all about?

snakes galore

Well, I have been having the same dream about snakes for some weeks now. Nope, it was not on a succession of days but rather in intervals. Yeah, you must be wondering why don't we choose our dreams ya? Or tailor them? Instead of having snakes in it as the main actor? I mean, I wish I had the most sensual of all dreams but no, I had to have snakes!


Ok, what does this mean? I really do not know; all I can remember from it is that I had snakes of all types chasing after me, and me running away from them. Then one of the nights, I dreamed, those damn snakes cornered me and then, out of my wits, I didn't know what to do. Finally, as they say, when you are forced into a corner, and its either live or die, you will fight to the end, right?


Yup, I took the choice of fighting it till the end. All I remembered in that dream is that I finally slit that ass hole and it was over, and I distinctively remembered it was a python. When I finally slit that critter, I wok ed up. Strange right? But, nope, I did not have that after effect of having sweat, maybe because the air-cond. was on?


Puzzled, I brought up this subject to Slutty Whore. SW told me that usually when a person dreams of snakes, you are suppose to be lucky or luck is after you. But, in my last dream, I killed that serpent, so does it mean, I have killed off my luck???

Awww...I've killed the hen that lays the golden egg

Any other interpretation besides that?

MAHJONG MANIACS...

Last Friday evening, Wingedman invited me over to his other half's place for dinner and also a game of mahjong. It was to celebrate the official opening of Wingedman's mahjong set. It was something he had asked for as a present for his birthday gift and although, we did not actually get the Gucci set, well, it was good enough for Wingedman's vice.

I was late as I had PT and it ended at 8pm. As Cali was in Stanchart building in the CBD area, Wingedman's other half's place was in Damansara Pelangi (Rainbow); how apt that name! As I approached the place, I was told to find a place to park and it was difficult actually to do so but I was lucky enough to get a place right opposite the apartment although it was walking distance; a good 5 minutes walk.

When I reached the apartment, Slutilla was already there. I sat down and caught up with the latest gossips with the gang, whilst Wingedman's other half was busy cooking in the kitchen. We had a blast trying to catch up with the on-goings on channel E on Astro and commenting how Paris Hilton this and that. Apart from that, I've also learned a new code, Golden Phoenix, well, I'm not about to divulge this code means here but lets just say, it sends chuckles when we mention it.

We had a nice dinner, all very home cooked and simple. Wingedman's other half can really cook and I was impressed, for the 4 of us, he had 5 dishes including winter melon soup. After dinner, we immediately started with our mahjong game of 3 persons.

Wingedman scored the first round but according to our culture, the first one who wins will also be the last one who wins. So, me and Slutilla smiled and smirked all the way but Wingedman was pretty lucky that night, though he did not game that high, it was good enough to slowly snip off my chips. However, after a few rounds, I managed to gain back some but Slutilla was on a roll.

Slutilla kept on winning all the way and naturally, Wingedman got a bit scared, so he enlisted the other half to do the job for him. As for me, I was a bit worried too as I kept on losing all of my chips, so when the other half came on board, there was a pact that was made; the dice was to move between me and Wingedman's other half.

And like a prophecy foretold, the dice did move from the other half and me for the entire night, and soon, the other prophecy to be told, the biggest chip owned by Slutilla was soon given to me and and Wingedman's other half. At about 2.45am, Slutilla surrendered and didn't want to go on with the game anymore. Conceding defeat, Slutilla uttered these words "These are the most expensive dinner I've had for tonight".

Slutilla, tough luck, next time try harder....hehehe

In retrospect, mahjong is really an addictive game, and best of all, it really sharpens one's mind. How? The constant changing of the winds and the ability to calculate mentally is all a challenge at which, I do encourage most people to take up the game not in the sense of major gambling but more to, sharpen your mind. I really like the challenge of it and from the early days of actually understanding it, I understand a bit more now, not a pro but more likely gaining step by step to actually master it, so watch out guys, here comes the Blog Whore!!