Place: Where else
The most dreaded time of the day is when the staff nurses will come to do the dressing, and that sort of made me not sleep the whole night. It never crossed my mind to actually think I would be afraid of such a thing as something innocent called "dressing".
As I sat there after breakfast, waiting for the nurses to take off the bandage and then usher me to shower, I began to conjure up all the worst possible scenarios that might take place. I believe that if one was to conjure them up on this basis, things might not turn out to be so bad after all. But, then again, I always wondered if this theory worked?
The staff nurse approached me and told me if I was ready for my shower. I told her, yeah, I'm ready.
She went into the toilet and began to prepare my sitz bath for me. At the same time, I began to muster up all of my strenght to counter the possible pain that might crop up; and at the same time felt nervous. Hands were perspiring but I kept that in check.
Soon, she came over and asked me to bend down. I did as I was told.
"I'm sorry sir, its going to hurt a bit, I will try to be gentle" said the nurse as she proceeded to tear up the bandage. With one pull, she did it and ouch, it hurt but not as bad as yesterday. The pain was still evident.
After my shower, I sat down in my bed, my energy thoroughly drained the other day seemed to appear to have come back. As I listened to the goings on next to me, I realized Sunday mass was going on. I ventured to the window to have a peek and there it was the usual crowd mingling to go into church. It was packed and it was a also a special sunday as it was the first holy communion for about 80 children. (for the uninitiated, first holy communion is given to kids as they became of age 7 or 8) Its usually a big celebration in the Catholic church as this tradition emphasizes the child's needs to be a follower of Christ and to inform that he or she is able to participate in the Sarcarments of the church.
A tinge of sadness did hit my heart; began to think, it I took more care of my health, I would not end up in a hospital on sunday and furthermore, I would be able to attend church. But, as it is, the evident had happened, so I guess I have live with it.
Suddenly I hear my name being called. I saw the nurse coming up with the dressing sets. My heart sank, there there, I told myself, brace for it and don't be afraid. After all, I'm a MAN, so no need to be all pussy about it. Obidently, I went back to my bed. I lay there waiting for the nurse. Another nurse came in, pulled the curtains to add some privacy around my bed.
The nurse started with her what I called them rituals. There she opened this plastic casing that consisted of items like wool, clippers, a tray and a syringe. She then proceeded to put on a hand glove and continued with her act. Then she poured some saline and some hydrogen peroxide (I think) on to the dish and then proceeded to tear out the cotton wool one by one.
After tearing them, she will go through a motion and then dip a bit of the wool in the saline and then squezze it using the clippers. All these actions actually gave me some entertainment before I was tortured. Not that I really like to be in that situation, but I really had no choice, it was thrust onto me; like it or not, this was the sort of thing I had to live with while the wound was being healed.
"Sir, I'm going to proceed now, you may want to push the button for the painkillers" the nurse told me.
I quickly took that order with much gusto, as I did not want to encounter that same pain I had yesterday.
The nurse did it very delicately and patiently too. I felt the pain, it was a stinging pain but to tell the truth, I did find the pain killers doing their job, that is, immunized me from the pain. Nope, I still felt that pain of an open wound. Each time the wool went in, I felt like screaming but surprisingly, when she did it onto my left side, the pain was not that strong.
Whole ritual lasted for an hour, I swore but it was only a few minutes and during that time too, I was sweating profusely. When it was over, I was relieved and was like looking forward that I don't have to repeat this anymore...yeah, fat chance!
Soon, the days began to pass by. One by one the other patients discharged. The first to be discharged was the uncle next to me, then followed by Mahendran and then finally the guy who works in the restaurant (who had hepatitis A). In between, another two guys came in. One was a malay chap who had a slight discomfort whilst urinating. Doctor diagnosed him as having stones in his bladder but as it was very small, he was given some medicine and then discharged the next day.
The other guy, a chinese guy, came in the same time as the malay guy but much earlier. He was suspected to have dengue and poor chap who looked normal during the day, can have his health deterriorated just like that the very next hour. His blood was checked almost daily and he looked so skinny that I actually felt a tinge of pity for him.
As the other guys discharged, I was kinda missed them because even though it was only a few days of room sharing, I sort of had this little camadrie with the guy opposite of me. I guess I was amazed at the number of visitors Mahendran used to have all through the days.
It was like his whole clan came down just to give him support. I sort of envied him because he had so many people to care for him and look at poor me, most of the time I was not filled with volume. Perhaps, I was just being too free and thought of such things.
Funny thing though, when one is alone, one really thinks a lot. Yeah, the television plays a part to divert my boredom, but then again, after a while, how much of programmes can one watch on the telly?
Days went by, my wounds healed a bit more, like no more pain from the dressings. The pain killer was taken off by my request as I did not like having to drag this post with me all the time. It impeded my freedom to walk anywhere or do anything I wanted.
Exactly 9 days, that Mawar Room, Room 6, Bed 3 became my temproray home. In that total span of 9 days, I made some company and the nurses was so friendly and they took the initiative to talk to you. They were busy but whenever they had the chance, they would make sure I was not feeling too lonely.
November 3rd, 2006 - Mr MMS gave me the green light to go home. Actually, I had the option to returning home earlier but I chose to stay back as I still needed daily dressing. Even after I got discharged, I was still asked to go back to the hospital to do the dressing.
I followed as instructed and on November 8, I went for a last check up by Mr MMS. He finally gave me the all clear and told me that I do not need to see him nor come back to the hospital for the dressings anymore
Hearing those words, made me so relieved. I was happy and could not contain my joy too. The pain had indeed gone. I can walk properly, BO properly and also sit properly. However, during this period until the 27, I will watch carefully my diet and also at the same time, to avoid all spicy food. At the same time, I have been consuming more vegetables, fish, pork and fruits. These are all cooked without any spicy ingredients. Water has been consumed almost daily (to ensure that I do not have this same problem anymore) and just last Tuesday, I went to the gym to work out, doing light exercises.
I plan to work out to gain back what I have lost and will be contended once again when my body reaches full optimum to the toned state that I used to have.
Looking back, I realized I have learned to be more humble, don't take things too seriously and let life goes as it goes. I learnt to hang loose. And, my faith increased during those trying times. I ever wondered why during these life threatening times, we always seek God for all his comfort. I realized that He has been there and the fault lies in me for I did not allow His presence to premeate in fully.
Learning from that experience, I have thanked God and his saints for the marvellous things I have learnt, the family and friends who have surrounded me and the staff at the hospital. They truly inspired me to learn and give more and I have told myself that I want to pay back for all this wonderful blessings I have gained from here. The pain, the struggles and the eventual sweet recovery, this were all part of living that we have to go through. I mean I look back and see things differently now, I guess I have been reformed from this whole harrowing experience.
Thank the good Lord for His guidance and love all throughout the time. I learnt that this pain came with a purpose and that purpose is now set to be my goal to move on with the rest of my journey. Thus, a grateful heart is how I feel at the moment!
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